The Good, The Bad, and The Swiping: Pros and Cons of Online Dating

The age of technology has ushered in a myriad of new and innovative ways to connect people from all ends of the world, making it easier than ever to find love online. Dating apps have taken the scene by storm, allowing singles to sift and swipe through a catalog of local love-seekers in hopes of matching with compatible partners. However, with so much opportunity comes a heavy burden of consequences, too.

Online dating experiences vary widely — some blossom into long-lasting, fulfilling relationships while others lead to frustration and endless swiping. Though there’s no foolproof method to guaranteeing an amazing experience, you can temper your expectations by weighing the pros and cons of online dating. CarpeDM is here to help.

What Are the Pros and Cons of Online Dating?

By joining online dating platforms, you heighten your chances of either meeting your soulmate or encountering heartbreak. It’s a total gamble, but it’s one that nearly 30% of Americans willingly try their luck with.

Diving deeper, there are plenty of pros and cons of online dating that deal with safety, convenience, emotional burnout, and life-changing relationships — all key considerations for newcomers and seasoned vets. We’ve narrowed down an infinite list to the top pros and cons our matchmakers believe you should weigh first.

Pro: Meet New People

The realm of online dating opens up a treasure trove of potential partners, far beyond what you may encounter at your local bar, community events, or weekly farmer’s markets. A deeper pool of potential dates allows you to cast a wider net, effectively increasing your odds of finding compatible partners. Online dating platforms are particularly beneficial for people with social anxiety, those living in remote areas, or anyone simply looking to see who else is out there.

Keep in mind that with great choice comes great responsibility. It is ridiculously easy to get lost in the sea of options, endlessly scrolling without ever making genuine connections. Our advice? Keep your options as manageable as possible. Focus on casting a more narrow net, zeroing in on a specific location, and settling on non-negotiable qualities you're looking for in a romantic partner.

Con: It’s Addictive

It’s no secret that mobile app developers aim to keep users engaged and active on their platforms. A recent lawsuit against Match Group has brought the quiet but pervasive reality of online dating app addiction to the forefront, giving singles an opportunity to check in and evaluate their relationship with their favorite apps.

Dating apps are no different than your average, addictive mobile game. Both are designed to raise your dopamine levels, leaving you with a recurring rush of excitement and reward.

Swiping, matching, and messaging provide a chemical experience similar to gambling (minus the losing). And just like gambling, you can fall victim to dating app addiction as your brain seeks that pleasure as soon as the sparkle fades. These platforms, like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble, integrate pay-to-play loop features that effectively lock users into a cycle of chasing the dopamine high of scoring matches and “likes” through paid subscriptions and add-ons. 

Unsure about your relationship with your favorite dating apps? Walk yourself through these five addiction components to gauge your dopamine dependence.

  1. Salience: Does your dating app activity and usage consume your thoughts?
  2. Mood modification: Does your dating app usage drastically affect your mood? Are you intentionally (or unintentionally) using dating apps to alter your mood?
  3. Conflict: Does your dating app usage affect your schedule or sense of reality?
  4. Tolerance: Has your dating app screen time increased over time? Do you find yourself buying into upgrades that lead to increased app time?
  5. Withdrawal: Do you experience distress when you’re unable to access your dating apps?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it may be time to address your dating app dependence. Consider taking a break from the apps by deleting them or seeking professional help from an addiction counselor. 

Tired of apps as a whole? Close this chapter of swiping and enter a new era of matchmaking. At CarpeDM, we do the hard work for you. Our expert matchmakers pair you with truly compatible matches who check your boxes of non-negotiables, cutting out the superficial swiping and getting you face-to-face dates more efficiently and meaningfully. Join our community of singles today and say hello to the future of online dating.

Pro: Meeting Like-Minded People is Easy

One of the most significant pros of online dating is harnessing the ability to filter based on your preferences. If you’re looking for a life partner who shares your religious or political beliefs, cultural background, lifestyle habits, or hopes and dreams, online dating platforms allow you to sort accordingly. 

Of course, there is also a downside to being too specific. When dialing in your preferences, try to avoid over-idealizing your Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. Your dream partner is out there, but they may come in a different shape or color than you had imagined. Don’t close yourself off to amazing people solely because they don’t look like your celebrity crush. 

Keep the preference checklist to true non-negotiables and you’re sure to encounter wonderful people who already share your core compatibilities.

Con: Superficiality

If there is something we can all agree on about the pros and cons of online dating websites and apps, it’s that the rise of the swipe-first approach has put a detrimental emphasis on superficiality. On an app like Tinder or Bumble, physical appearance is the instinctual trigger that gets you to swipe left or right. While surveying profiles for attractiveness, you’re also picking up on indicators like status, wealth, and lifestyle habits before you’re able to learn about their personality and background.

There’s no denying that looks matter, but most online dating apps have users swiping based on superficial qualities rather than emotional compatibility. This flip-flop of priorities can lead to missed connections and endless swiping since you’re unable to really get to know someone through photos alone.

Pro: Convenience

Long gone are the days of having to put yourself physically out there to meet fellow singles. Your local (and global) dating pool is available right in the palm of your hand. Convenience is everything in the digital age and dating apps are working toward bridging the loneliness gap. 

While convenience doesn’t come without its share of downsides, the fast-paced nature of dating apps lends itself to expedited getting-to-know-you timelines. Whether it’s in-app messaging or scheduling in-person dates shortly after connecting, singles can efficiently progress relationships through the help of digital dating platforms.

Con: Emotional Burnout

Even though you’re just swiping, tapping, and clicking with your fingertips, emotional burnout is a seriously underestimated con of online dating. Sure, there is an amazing benefit to having such a deep dating pool, but it can also be exhausting dealing with a constant influx of new matches and chats. Getting to know new people is exhilarating, but it can also be challenging to keep up with the genuine investment you must place into these new connections.

In reality, it’s impossible to keep up with the dozens of matches you’ll inevitably encounter. Be fair and considerate when deciding where you want to invest your time and emotional bandwidth. Your matches are likely dealing with the same overwhelming feelings, too.

Pro: The Potential for Success

Of all the pros and cons of online dating services, the one that shines brightest is the potential for long-lasting success. While it may take some time and effort, finding your person and building a once-in-a-lifetime connection is an absolutely possible outcome of online dating. 

A survey from OnePoll/Forbes Health found that 70% of individuals who used online dating apps to find love said it led to a romantic, exclusive relationship. The undeniable truth of dating platforms is that the vast majority of users are looking for companionship. By joining, you open yourself up to a sea of people who could change your life for the better.

And we’re not just talking about finding “the one,” (after all, not everyone is looking for marriage). Dating platforms can lead you to beautiful, lifelong friendships, too. At the end of the day, relationship success looks different for everyone, but by putting yourself out there, you welcome new experiences, conversations, and souls into your life journey.

Wrapping Up

Temperature check! How are you feeling after weighing these pros and cons of online dating?

Ready to try your luck with love? Start with CarpeDM

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