How Black Matchmakers Are Revolutionizing an Ancient Tradition

Black professionals know how challenging it is to meet a find a suitable life partner. Finding the perfect match is even more challenging for single, college-educated Black women. Dating is time-consuming, emotionally exhausting, and expensive — but what if I told you there’s a centuries-old secret to long-lasting marriages that skips modern swipe-first dating?

I’m Monique Miles, a CarpeDM Matchmaker and Licensed Professional Counselor, and I’m sharing everything you need to know about matchmaking. Read on to learn more about black matchmaking is a key game-changer in the Black community.

What is Matchmaking & How Does It Work?

Matchmaking is when a third party (matchmaker) connects two people they believe are well-suited for marriage. Typically, the matchmaker will have an active roster of love-seeking individuals whom they meticulously pair together based on future goals, personality types, backgrounds, and other compatibility indicators.

Enter CarpeDM: the most exclusive dating app and matchmaking service for Black singles revolutionizing an age-old tradition to build our community and foster long-lasting connections.

History of Matchmaking Around the Globe 

Matchmaking has been around for centuries and several cultures continue to rely on this method to pair single people together and build families and futures. Let’s take a look at a few of my favorites and understand how matchmaking has shaped their past and present dating experiences.

Ancient Greece

In ancient Greece, a matchmaker was referred to as a “promnestria,” a woman who would relay proposals and negotiate the details of the union. These professional cupids acted as the middleman for two families looking to pair their prospective brides and grooms. It was not uncommon for the couple to remain strangers until the day they tied the knot.


In India, love and matchmaking go hand in hand; marriages have been arranged since the fourth century and are still utilized. Unbelievably, it is estimated that a staggering 90% of modern marriages in India are formally arranged. 

What’s even more impressive is that India has the lowest divorce rate in the world with only 1% of marriages ending in divorce (compared to 50% in the United States). In Indian culture, hopeful brides and grooms trust their families to find them a potential match. Indian singles without families turn to professional matchmakers and matchmaking services.


Before World War II, Japanese families would turn to an “omiai” for introductions to a potential spouse for their children. Though working with an omiai became less popular after the war, it is still common for Japanese parents to work together and arrange marriages for their single children. 

Jewish Communities

Jewish communities have utilized matchmakers since long before the twentieth century and continue to embrace modern-day matchmaking. The process emphasizes pairing people with compatible familial backgrounds and personalities to guide their choices.

Building Legacies: The Role of Black Matchmaking in Strengthening Communities

The thing that stands out the most about these fascinating histories is importance these global communities place on family and collective growth. Matchmaking has allowed them to better their communities, continue legacies, and build wealth. As generations and communities before have modeled, this success starts with marriage. This made me reflect on the history of the Black community and how we could benefit from that mindset.

According to the US Census Bureau, 55% of white men are married and 52% of white women are married. When looking at the Black community, those percentages drop significantly, with only 34% of Black men and 28% of Black women being married. There is a real and growing racial divide in U.S. marriage patterns. Something needs to change — and that’s where Black matchmaking presents a powerful catalyst.

Why is CarpeDM’s Black Matchmaking Mission Important to Me?

As a couple’s therapist and matchmaker, I help people navigate the highs and lows of their relationships daily. During my day-to-day, I found that I was serving a high volume of couples, but few looked like me. This realization prompted me to begin searching for a way to serve my community and bring Black singles together in the same way that those aforementioned thriving communities have done for centuries.

While discussing this desire with a colleague, she mentioned CarpeDM. After doing some research and a conversation with the CarpeDM founders, I realized their mission aligned completely with mine. We share a passion for helping build legacies and generational wealth amongst members of our community and helping professional Black women connect with like-minded men who are specifically interested in dating them.

The CarpeDM Difference: Black Matchmakers Shaping the Future

Unlike dating app competitors like Hinge, Bumble, or the League, CarpeDM caters to Black singles, a community by you, for you; we want to help facilitate real Black love.

I can’t tell you how many times CarpeDM members have shared that they’ve been turned away from matchmaking services that simply don’t know how to match Black singles. This sad truth rings especially true for Black women. 

At CarpeDM, we believe matchmakers should have cultural competence to provide value in matchmaking. The Black community is unique and sometimes the only way to be heard and understood is by working with a service that is designed with our needs in mind.

Here at CarpeDM, our team of experienced Black matchmakers provides relationship coaching, emotional intelligence coaching, communication skills coaching, relationship management skills coaching, and relationship-building skills and exercises. We offer online relationship advice through our blog and social media, and access to the Black matchmaker of your choice.  

Meet our team of professional matchmakers and schedule a free consultation today!                   

Join the CarpeDM Community!

Ready to enter the dating pool you’ve been dreaming about? Join CarpeDM today and once your application is approved, you will meet with a personal matchmaker who will learn about you and your dating needs and curate matches for you. 

Every member must pass a background check and an interview with our Black matchmakers. As a professional dating agency, our dating professionals screen to make sure intentions are sincere and that members are seeking commitment. We thrive on being one of the best dating sites for Black women. We believe that by serving them, we uplift black families and build legacies.

Don’t be shy, apply today to meet someone amazing!


About Monique Miles

Monique is a Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in individuals and couples. She believes it takes courage and hard work to see change and that most often happens when we feel safe and supported. She is passionate about facilitating long-lasting love and connection for CarpeDM members.

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