I’m Monique Miles, CarpeDM Matchmaker and Licensed Professional Counselor, and I’m sharing everything you need to know about matchmaking!
Black professionals dating know how challenging it is to meet a good partner. It’s even more challenging for the single educated black woman to date. Dating is time consuming, emotionally exhausting, and expensive. But what if I told you there’s a centuries old secret to avoid modern dating and get to a long lasting marriage? Matchmaking.
Matchmaking is when a third party (i.e., matchmaker) connects two people they believe are well suited for partnership or marriage. Matchmaking has been around for centuries. In ancient Greece, a matchmaker was referred to as a “promnestria,” a woman who would relay proposals and negotiate the details of the union. In India, love and matchmaking go hand in hand; marriages have been arranged since the fourth century and are still utilized, cut to the Netflix hit ‘Indian Matchmaking.’ I’m currently binge watching Season 3!
It is estimated that a staggering 90% of marriages in India are still arranged to this day. What’s even more impressive is that India has the lowest divorce rate in the world with only 1% of marriages ending in divorce (compared to 50% in the United States). Maybe there’s something better about matchmaking than letting singles fend for themselves in their search for a life partner? In Indian culture, hopeful brides and grooms trust their families to find them a potential match. Indian singles without families turn to professional matchmakers and matchmaking services.
Matchmaking is not only popular in India. Matchmaking was and is still common in Japan. Prior to World War II, Japanese families would turn to an “omiai” for introductions to a potential spouse for their children. Though working with an omiai became less popular after the war, it is still common for Japanese parents to work together and arrange marriages for their children. Jewish communities have been utilizing matchmakers well before the twentieth century and utilized the modern-day matchmaking process of looking at background and personality similarities to guide their choices well before it became popular. Jewish matchmakers essentially help Jewish singles find each other. Thanks to the popularity and success of “Indian Matchmaker,” Netflix just dropped its new series ‘Jewish Matchmaking.’ Seems like people can’t get enough of matchmaking reality tv.
Looking to learn more about dating for professionals, check out the CarpeDM blog page for all things dating and relationships.
The thing that stands out the most to me in regard to communities that have utilized matchmakers in the past and continue to do so in the present is the importance that they all place on family, community, and collective growth. This made me think about the history of my community and how we would benefit from that mindset. According to the US Census Bureau, as of 2022, 55% of white men are married and 52% of white women are married. When looking at the black community, those percentages drop significantly, with only 34% of black men and 28% of black women being married. There is a real and growing racial divide in U.S. marriage patterns.
Think about the communities that utilize matchmaking and why they do it. To enhance their communities, continue their legacy, and build wealth. It is for the betterment of the collective. As generations and communities before have modeled, that starts with marriage.
As a couple’s therapist and matchmaker, I help people navigate the highs and lows of their relationships daily. During my day-to-day, I found that I was serving a lot of couples, but not a lot of them looked like me. I was seeking a way to serve my community and bring black singles together in the way that those aforementioned thriving communities have done for centuries. While discussing this desire with a colleague, she mentioned CarpeDM. After further research and a conversation with the CarpeDM founders, I realized their mission aligned completely with mine. The desire to help set the foundation to build a legacy and curate generational wealth amongst members of our community to help professional black women connect with like minded men who are not only looking forward to dating a professional, but specifically dating a black woman.
Unlike dating app competitors like Hinge, Bumble, or the League, CarpeDM caters to black singles, a community by you, for you; we want to help facilitate real black love.
I can’t tell you how many times CarpeDM Members share with us that they’ve been turned away from matchmaking services, like Tawkify, because Tawkify doesn’t cater to or know how to match black singles. This is especially true for black women dating. At CarpeDM, we believe matchmakers should have cultural competence to provide value in matchmaking. Black people are unique and sometimes the only way to be heard and understood is by working with a service that is designed with your needs in mind.
If your family members aren’t setting you up on dates with potential matches (or you don’t trust your family members to set you up *side eye*), then consider working with black matchmakers who handpick matches based on your wants and needs. Here at CarpeDM, we have high end matchmakers who provide relationship coaching, emotional intelligence coaching, communication skills coaching, relationship management skills coaching, and relationship building skills and relationship building exercises. We have the best matchmaking services, offering online relationship advice through our blog and social media, and access to the matchmaker of your choice.
Meet our team of professional matchmakers and schedule a free consultation today!
Every member must pass a background check and they are interviewed by our matchmakers. As a professional dating agency, our dating professionals screen to make sure intentions are sincere and that members are seeking commitment. We thrive on being one of the best dating sites for black women. We believe that by serving them, we are helping to uplift black families and build legacies.
Learn more about CarpeDM’s mission to give B[l]ack here.
CarpeDM, the best dating app for black women and everyone interested in dating black women, is on a mission to transform the online dating experience and help you form meaningful connections, establish healthy relationships, and find a partner that meets your needs.
Ready to create your dating profile? Create your CarpeDM profile and once your application is approved, you will meet with a personal matchmaker who will learn about you and your dating needs and curate matches for you. If you’ve been searching for matchmaking in Washington DC, or Black matchmaking services in the DMV, look no further!
Don’t be shy, apply today to meet someone amazing!