Three Tips to Dating in 2019
  • Naza Shelley

Three Tips to Dating in 2019

Updated: Apr 3, 2019

Dating today can be a daunting task. There are so many options and so many ways things can go wrong! Knowing some tricks to navigating the dating landscape is a must. So, here are my top 3 tips for dating in 2019!

1. Time Waits for No (Wo)Man

This might be my age speaking (a vibrant 32), but have you noticed how the years are flying by? Wasn't I just a carefree 20-something? Well, the gray hairs that have suddenly appeared on my head are a daily reminder that Father Time is constantly on the move and I need to keep up!

So, what does aging physical infrastructure have to do with dating in 2019? Well, everything! I can't count how many of my friends are sitting on the dating sidelines waiting for Mr. or Miss Right to bump into them at a local bookstore. While that romantic P.O.V. is endearing (insert Nancy Pelosi clap), we've all seen "You" and bumping into a a bookstore hottie seems much less appealing now, doesn't it? Jokes aside, ultimately, you need to get in the game if you're really interested in finding someone special. The saying, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, holds some truth.

While some people still haven't hopped on the online dating bandwagon, a growing number of adults think online dating is a great way to meet new people and I am inclined to agree. In the past three years, I have gone out on about 100 dates - (Sheesh....) - relationships that started on dating sites and progressed to coffee, dinner, dancing, trips to museums, and parks - all worthwhile experiences. While not ending in a serious relationship, each of these dates taught me something about myself - what I like or don't like - and are good practice for the right, future LTR. So, long story short, stop waiting around for your mother to introduce you to someone. Get off the bench and start dating! You may strike out (a lot), but you only need to hit one home run to win the proverbial game!

2. Know When to Fold 'Em (Cards & Clothes)

We all know this popular adage, the question is do you know how to apply it IRL? Ask yourself, when's the last time you let go of someone not adding anything positive to your life? Not to go full Marie Kondo on you, but the same way you have to ask yourself if that Rachel Roy top from two seasons ago is still bringing you joy (it is, btw), you need to take stock of your relationships - both romantic and platonic - and say Thank You, Next! to any dead weight.

While this may prove a difficult task for your more long-standing relationships, it may be applied easier to newer or potential relationships. If you figure out what your deal breakers are and set your standards (reasonably), then you can approach dating with flexible resolution! If your love interest isn't meeting your standards and isn't willing to compromise, then fold those cards early and play for a better hand!

3. Be Your Own BFF

So, I am not the type to say you don't need a man or significant other. Quite the contrary, I think meaningful relationships are what life's all about - those memorable moments you create with family, friends, and partners make the mundane bearable. However, I am a firm believer in cultivating self-love and I've told many a friend that they shouldn't expect a relationship to "complete" them. Instead, you need to come to a relationship a whole person and your partner should "complement" you in ways both small and large.

What does this have to do with dating in 2019? With all the social media stunting, Insta-perfect personas, and curated timelines, it may seem like everyone but you is living their best life. But in reality people are having more trouble finding happiness with and within themselves. While I am not advocating going off social media cold-turkey, taking breaks from comparing yourself and your relationships to others is a necessary kindness you should pay to yourself! Whether it's going out for a meal alone, finally reading that last chapter of "Becoming" by Michelle Obama, treating yourself to a spa day, or simply checking-in with yourself emotionally through meditation, self-reflection and satisfaction are essential to being the type of person who is ready to meet the challenges of the modern dating world.

So, before jumping head first into your next situationship, consider whether you've built a meaningful, healthy, and sustainable relationship with the person that matters most - yourself!

What do you think of these Tips for Dating in 2019? Leave a comment below adding your 2 cents!

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