Are the Little White Lies in your Dating Profile Blocking your Blessings in Love?
Updated: Apr 3, 2019
Whether you're adding a few inches to your height, photo shopping a few pounds off your waistline, filtering your photos to the gawds, fudging your age by give or take a few years, inflating your personal or professional credentials, or intentionally omitting important details about yourself, these seemingly minor profile alterations can be a huge turn off to a potential love interest.
Have you ever wondered how a little white lie added to your dating profile may impact your long-term dating prospects? I hadn't put too much thought into it before, but it became the topic of conversation between my girlfriends and I this weekend. As we chatted over a table covered in delicious Thai cuisine (you know, a little Massaman curry, chicken panang, and spicy drunken noodles), my bff lamented about how disappointed she was by her recent date.
I of course inquired what so quickly turned her prior excitement to cold indifference; was he late, rude to service, aggressive or overtly sexual? Did he ask her to split the check? Spill the tea girl!
That's when she revealed that her date was at least two inches shorter than he'd indicated on his dating profile! Whomp!
Some may think, what's the big deal? If he's otherwise a great guy, why can't she look past the height issue and give him a shot? Well, this isn't just a case of - stop being so superficial and picky, girl! By misrepresenting his height (something important to my bff), he set an expectation that he was unable to live up to. Imagine ordering a crab cake from your favorite take out spot just to get home and see they gave you a cheese burger. There's nothing wrong with burgers; at times that may be exactly what you're craving and they are someone else's favorite meal. But when you're expecting something a bit different it's easy to see how disappointment can quickly set it and turn you off to an otherwise tasty meal.
The truth is, when it comes to online dating, we are already taking a chance on meeting a stranger. So, small lies, even ones intended to enhance your desirability (not to outright trick a potential match) can end up having the same detrimental impact because they speak to your character and penchant for honesty. You really can't blame someone for not wanting to pursue a relationship if their first real impression of you is so negative.
My advice - just be real! It's better to only have 5 matches that see the real you than 100 matches gained under false pretenses. That's why I like to provide plenty of tasteful photos of myself both close up and standing. I also make sure my photos are recent (within the last 6 months to 1 year) and have not been placed through so many filters that I am unrecognizable (Yes, that puppy filter is cute but not the way to go in your dating profile). Additionally, in my bio, I like to point out things that are important to me in a positive or neutral manner. So, for example, instead of saying "My match has to be at least 6 ft tall", I simply state that "I am 5'11''. These subtle cues invite the brave few to like me despite the fact that I may be taller than them, but have proven to deter most men who are not at least close to my stature.
The real question I have for those who lie in their dating profiles is, how long do you plan to keep up the ruse Sis or Sir? If the goal of online dating is to eventually take your relationship offline and meet IRL, then the lies you tell (ever so small they may be) only set you up for failure! So best practice, don't try to fool yourself or anyone else.
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What do you guys think? Are little white lies really no big deal? Leave a comment below with your thoughts.
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